I Graduated Coding School!
I recently completed my program at Flatiron School and it has been an incredibly challenging experience, but I made it!!! I took in so much information in a short period of time and I’ve gone through so many cycles of emotions and self doubt. Now that I’m at the end looking back, I thought I’d spend some time reflecting on how far I’ve come (my way of fighting imposter syndrome).
From the very first day of Flatiron, I felt like I might not belong. I didn’t know where everyone stood in their coding journey, whether I was being dropped in the middle of a group of experienced or inexperienced coders, but I assumed from the get-go that I would not belong. I was unable to get through all the pre-work that was asked of us prior to the first day and walked in expecting to be asked to leave because I hadn’t finished. When I think back on that first day, I can’t begin to express how amazed I am to have made it this far. I’m taking the time to highlight Day 1 because it’s worth noting how horrible my first day of coding bootcamp was…
Mod 1: Day 1
OK, so… There I was in all my insecurity and self doubt, sitting among 23 strangers. I didn’t get any sleep the night before because I was anxious that I would be kicked out as soon as I stepped through the door. We were all assigned tables and were asked to complete a lab where we manipulated a web page and used github. We didn’t know one another, were thrown into a group project detailing one another’s lives and it was three hours of abject awkwardness. Thank goodness for the two guys at my table (who I know now are amazing human beings). Even though I didn’t know what I was doing, they were kind. If you’re ever in a situation where you’re unsure of yourself, small kindnesses are immense generosities and I took their kindness gratefully.
Lunch was provided by the school and they ordered burrito bowls. I love burrito bowls any day of the week, but on that day, with my stomach churning, I really should have known better… more on this later. As introverted as I am, it was great to talk to some of the other students and get to know what their backstory was prior to attending the school. We talked about the events that led them to this decision and our expectations for the next few months. Many of us never touched a single line of programming prior to our decision to attend a coding bootcamp! At this point, I was so relieved that no one from Flatiron had asked me to exit the premises that I could feel my flush receding and my anxiety subsiding.
My memory’s a little foggy on what we did after lunch… I think we were still going through that web manipulation exercise, when I felt the beginnings of a sharp headache. Oh. My. Goodness. I forgot to drink coffee that morning! I was so nervous, I didn’t even bother to grab coffee that the school had prepared for us!!! Now, I’m in full denial of my addiction, but I will admit to the comfort that coffee brings to me through my ritualistic morning and afternoon consumption. Aaaargh!!! Well it couldn’t get any worse right? Ever the optimist…
At some point in the afternoon we were all shuffled to a lecture where we were given our first lecture of the program. Oh boy, it was rough. I was already in the negative on sleep, bloated from the accursed burrito bowl, feeling coffee withdrawal, and to top it all off, was falling asleep through the first lecture of what could only be a short foray in programming. I seriously wondered if the universe was trying to tell me something… needless to say, I was trailing rain from the cloud over my head the whole way home.
Even with my horrible first day, I somehow survived the week! I survived Object Oriented Ruby, I survived the weekend and I survived my first code challenge. What’s more, I survived Ruby on Rails, JavaScript, React, an extra three weeks of React, and a final project. I wish I could go back in time and reassure my former self that the first day in my coding journey would not be a measure of what was to come. I definitely had more difficult days, and alternatively, days where I felt like a coding Queen.
Barring any future ability to travel back in time, I have to take solace in the fact that the past several months have taught me to take each hardship as it comes and learn from it. For every day that I felt I would never understand a concept, there were many more days where I couldn’t sleep without watching one more tutorial, or waking up wanting to solve a problem I couldn’t solve the night before. If every day I code starts off as disastrous as my first day of coding bootcamp, I know now that it’s just another brick in my foundation that will hold up all the knowledge I’ll gain in the future. Future Esther rest assured!